The holiday season has descended upon this family and I really have mixed feelings.
I love the whole thing, Thanksgiving, Christmas lights, lighting the menorah for Chanukah, the kids excitement about the decorations, and The New Years celebration. Not to mention the stress, the extra work, the increased debt load, and 43,000 extra calories I am plastering on my hips. As the children grow and show their delight, it makes it all worthwhile, right?
Please someone, tell me I am right!
Financially, we are in a lean season like so many other people. So I try and plan activities that are relatively cheap or even free. One of my favorites is going to see the holiday lights, a virtual freebie. Sometimes it does not work out as well as I would hope. Last night we drove down to the Denver capitol to see how nicely the Civic Center was lit up. Unfortunately we got there before the turned on the lights. Instead of getting to see the warm glow of thousands of little light bulbs, we got to see the Occupy Wall Street Protestors all lined up in their makeshift tents and boxes. It was a sad sight, because I did not see actual protesting. Rather I saw a lot of younger folks sitting around playing cards, and smoking like trains. Josh looked over the sight, seeing the garbage and tarps strewn all over. He asked me about who all the people were. Not wanting to reveal my true feelings, and break the holiday spirit, I just told him that they were some of Santa's elves. Josh looked a little confused, then asked, "Daddy, are elves all potheads? That one over there is lighting a joint!"
Now, given how many toys are advertised for Christmas, it is natural that the boys will want all the toys they see on display. The way I deal with this is with something that I like to call it the "Try It, But Never Buy It" maneuver. The way it works is that right before we leave for the store, I make the kid drink a quart of water. When we get to the store, I put Josh in the shopping cart and push him through the toy section of the store. I let him look until he sees a toy he wants to try out. I give it to him then as he plays with it, I walk him around a while until he realizes that he cannot live without it. By this time, the kid has to go pee. Then I wait 15 minutes until the Josh is desperate to not wet himself. He gets so distracted by this that I can put the toy back on the shelf and he does not realize what has happened until we are on the way back home.
Our three year old, Josh recently came home from Sunday school with a note instructing the parents that he was going to perform a couple of songs the next week and that we needed to ensure he would learn the song before arriving at the service. I sat with josh and taught him the words and tune to "Angels We Have Heard On High". Our sessions went well, as Josh is a fast learner, and soon Josh had the words and tune memorized. We were quite proud of our little boy.
Until the performance that is.
At the appointed time, Josh went up to stand with the kids, got in his appointed place and the music started. I lifted up my camera to get the video, and suddenly Josh was nowhere to be seen. I looked again and he was rolling on the floor. He got up and decided that he needed to inspect the back of the stage and started running laps around the rest of the choir. I was helpless, and had to curb my impulse to yell, "Get the hell back on the stage!" but of course I was in church and somehow that would label me as the "bad daddy". Josh then, satisfied that the back of the stage was fine, walks to the front of the choir and holds his hands over his ears. At this point I tried to sink into my chair, so no other parent would look at me and blame me for allowing my rotten kid to ruin their little snowflakes performance. As soon as the song was over, Josh came running back to my chair and said too loudly, "Daddy, I have to pee!" This was my chance and we snuck out the back of the church where soon there would be wailing and knashing of teeth, at least for Josh. I sat Josh down in a corner and defined proper performance behavior. He looked up at me with the "I am not listening to you daddy, and you may as well get used to it" face.
He's 3, whaddya do?
I love the whole thing, Thanksgiving, Christmas lights, lighting the menorah for Chanukah, the kids excitement about the decorations, and The New Years celebration. Not to mention the stress, the extra work, the increased debt load, and 43,000 extra calories I am plastering on my hips. As the children grow and show their delight, it makes it all worthwhile, right?
Please someone, tell me I am right!
Financially, we are in a lean season like so many other people. So I try and plan activities that are relatively cheap or even free. One of my favorites is going to see the holiday lights, a virtual freebie. Sometimes it does not work out as well as I would hope. Last night we drove down to the Denver capitol to see how nicely the Civic Center was lit up. Unfortunately we got there before the turned on the lights. Instead of getting to see the warm glow of thousands of little light bulbs, we got to see the Occupy Wall Street Protestors all lined up in their makeshift tents and boxes. It was a sad sight, because I did not see actual protesting. Rather I saw a lot of younger folks sitting around playing cards, and smoking like trains. Josh looked over the sight, seeing the garbage and tarps strewn all over. He asked me about who all the people were. Not wanting to reveal my true feelings, and break the holiday spirit, I just told him that they were some of Santa's elves. Josh looked a little confused, then asked, "Daddy, are elves all potheads? That one over there is lighting a joint!"
Now, given how many toys are advertised for Christmas, it is natural that the boys will want all the toys they see on display. The way I deal with this is with something that I like to call it the "Try It, But Never Buy It" maneuver. The way it works is that right before we leave for the store, I make the kid drink a quart of water. When we get to the store, I put Josh in the shopping cart and push him through the toy section of the store. I let him look until he sees a toy he wants to try out. I give it to him then as he plays with it, I walk him around a while until he realizes that he cannot live without it. By this time, the kid has to go pee. Then I wait 15 minutes until the Josh is desperate to not wet himself. He gets so distracted by this that I can put the toy back on the shelf and he does not realize what has happened until we are on the way back home.
Our three year old, Josh recently came home from Sunday school with a note instructing the parents that he was going to perform a couple of songs the next week and that we needed to ensure he would learn the song before arriving at the service. I sat with josh and taught him the words and tune to "Angels We Have Heard On High". Our sessions went well, as Josh is a fast learner, and soon Josh had the words and tune memorized. We were quite proud of our little boy.
Until the performance that is.
At the appointed time, Josh went up to stand with the kids, got in his appointed place and the music started. I lifted up my camera to get the video, and suddenly Josh was nowhere to be seen. I looked again and he was rolling on the floor. He got up and decided that he needed to inspect the back of the stage and started running laps around the rest of the choir. I was helpless, and had to curb my impulse to yell, "Get the hell back on the stage!" but of course I was in church and somehow that would label me as the "bad daddy". Josh then, satisfied that the back of the stage was fine, walks to the front of the choir and holds his hands over his ears. At this point I tried to sink into my chair, so no other parent would look at me and blame me for allowing my rotten kid to ruin their little snowflakes performance. As soon as the song was over, Josh came running back to my chair and said too loudly, "Daddy, I have to pee!" This was my chance and we snuck out the back of the church where soon there would be wailing and knashing of teeth, at least for Josh. I sat Josh down in a corner and defined proper performance behavior. He looked up at me with the "I am not listening to you daddy, and you may as well get used to it" face.
He's 3, whaddya do?
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