Pre Thanksgiving Fiasco

Time to get on the game face. Thanksgiving is just hours away.  We are in panic mode trying to do the last minute prep work before we have to wake up, watch parades, and cook up dinner. 

Instead of writing, I should be baking a pumpkin cheesecake. 

We gathered up the kids, and headed out to do a bit of shopping, despite it being the most desperate time to go to the supermarket, because everyone is out frantically looking for the things they forgot for the big meal. After we got our groceries, Dessy hinted that she was craving some Chinese food and that she had heard of a new place in town. Now, I need to explain  that we live in a historically agricultural area, the ethnic breakdown is something like 50 percent Caucasian, 45 percent Hispanic, 4.9 percent Somalian or Philippine folks. And about 10 families of Chinese descent. My point is, that you cannot get decent Chinese food here, no matter how you try. Fact is, at many of the Asian restaurants here, the staff is Hispanic. Go figure. 

We found the restaurant, which turned out to be a take out place with a couple of tables. We made our order and waited for it to arrive. 

Josh, our 3 year old was not interested in the fried rice we got him and asked for egg. At this point it may be important to point out that Josh just got over having a bout of the stomach flu. 

I looked at the menu and decided to get him an order of egg foo young. It came out and Josh looked excited. He took one bite and said it was good. I began to eat while the food was still hot then I heard a horrible noise. I was hoping it was just the sound of water spilling on to the floor but no, it was my kid blowing chunks all over the table. Not just once, not twice, but three iterations of the technicolor fountain comprised of fried rice, fried egg and what appeared to be wanton soup. It was just glorious. The proprietor, who had been chattering away in Cantonese suddenly switched to broken English and I think he was describing what water front property in Hong Kong looked like on a bright summers day, because it sounded like "Oh the sunny beaches over there!" I was horrified and asked for a role of paper towels while begging for forgiveness. We got it all cleaned up and headed out to the car. 

As I drove home in sullen silence, I remembered how once when I was about 10 years old, I was out at a smorgasboard restaurant with my family and I too managed to decorate the sink in the bathroom with an awful load of chunky soup. I remember my fathers reaction and how for years after that story came up at family gatherings. The rest of us laughed but oddly, my father remained a bit quiet about the memory. I felt compelled to call my parents right away, and I let them know what happened and how I no longer thought the story was funny. 

Oddly enough, my father found THAT to be funny.

It is time I get to baking, so I will leave you with a wish for a Happy Thanksgiving, and a poem I wrote for the holiday some years ago.

      Ode To Thanksgiving

      'Twas the morning of Thanksgiving,

      And all through my house.

      You can hear lots of screaming from me and my spouse.

      From inside the kitchen with groceries to spare.

      We argued and fought over how to prepare.

      The guests will be coming,

      Expecting our best.

      The food won't be ready

      And our house is a mess.

      When on top of the stove, the yams made a splatter,

      And Dessy came running, to see what was the matter.

      The potatoes were flying, as I started to mash,

      then fell on the floor and into the trash.

      The bread won't be made, cause I messed up the dough

      and the stuffing is runny, why I don't know.

      When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,

      But a miniature wife, and I shuddered in fear

      With a gleam in her eyes, and armed with a stick,

      I knew in a moment it's my butt she would kick.

      She drew in a deep breath, I quivered in shame,

      She shouted , and heckled, then bellowed my name!

      Get out of my kitchen, you're just in the way.

      I can't stand your face for even one more day.

      Cut carrots,

      Chop Celery,

      Slice onion,  and ham.

      Make Gravy,

      Do it your way,

      I don't give a damn.

      As the yelling subsided, I wished I could die,

      My little boy shuddered and started to cry.

      Then mommy took over, I ran in fear,

      I hid in the basement and sipped on a beer.

      And then, in a twinkling, I heard a crash on the floor,

      Then wailing and crying and a slamming front door.

      I went to the kitchen to find no one there,

      The mess that had happened was too much to bear

      I laughed when I saw it, the food on the shelf!

      We're out of time, I said to myself.

      I thought for a moment, "This isn't so bad,

      Let's go have dinner with my mom and my dad

      We drove to their house, and told them the deal,

      and begged them to let us come in for a meal.

      Mom spoke not a word, Dad had a big smirk,

      And said to my face that I was a big jerk.

      He then thumbed his nose and slammed the door shut,

      I looked at Josh and Dessy and said "Now what?"

      She suddenly smiled, and said "I know a way!"

      And away we all went to the Country Buffet.

      We all ate our fill, for $ seven ninety nine,

      Then went back to the house for a cheap glass of wine.

      As we fell asleep on the sofa, a voice yelled out in the night,

      "Happy Thanksgiving to all to all, and to all a big fight!