It was a hot afternoon and the highway was crowded. I was just driving home my normal route, eating a taco bell burrito,drinking a water that had been sitting in the hot car all day and listening to the radio, when suddenly my mundane drive got a little extra flava.
I was on the interstate getting ready to merge onto my exit when I noticed a little red car speeding up to pass me on the right. The car cut me off from being able to exit in the prescribed lines and as it passed me I happened to be taking a bite of the taco. Apparently my eating was an offence to the driver who promptly flipped me off. Flipped me off!!
That should have been the end of it, but of course you know it was not. The driver then positioned himself directly in front of me and slammed on the brakes, and again gave me the one finger salute.
I responded by taking another bite of the taco. This must have infuriated the other driver who then reached out his sunroof and again gestured his displeasure. I decided to change lanes and the aspiring hand model then followed suit and again with the bird, out the drivers window.
At this point, I was out of taco so I decided to take my cell phone in hand and prepare to call the guy in for road rage like behavior.
He then pulled over in front of me and stopped. I stopped my car on the side of the road and the guy jumps out of his car, yelling profanities and this is when I noticed he was about 6 foot tall, 200 pounds tattooed from head to toe with a construction mohawk. I could just feel a cultural exchange coming on.
I rolled down the window as he approached yelling. It was not what I expected, as he declared he was on the phone with the cops. I politely and calmly stated that I was in complete agreement, and that he should call in the officers and let them referee.
O.K. Maybe not politely. "Go ahead Jackhole, get them over here, you cut me off, slammed on your brakes and are flipping gang signs at me!"
At this point he told 911 that it was cool, and he hung up. Then he yelled at me about raising my hand as He passed and cut me off on the right. I held up the Taco Bell bag, and Said, "I WAS EATING A TACO!!! "
At this point his demeanor changed, and he said, "Oh, sorry man." and held out his hand in to shake and relieve the tensions. We shook and he got in his car and raced off.
As I thought about it, I realized a few things. One, I am not as young as I once was, and it may be harder to defend myself than it used to be. So I need to make sure I am armed with more than a hardshell taco when mixing it up with the local talent. Maybe a hot coffee from Mcdonalds or a mashed potato and gravy bowl from KFC.
I also realized that maybe I should change up my snacks. I bet if I had been eating a carrot stick, the guy would never have gotten pissed off at me. On the other hand if I had been eating a celery stick he may have thought I was flipping him off.
From now on I will be more cautious, but if you know I am in a bad mood and you see me getting a 12 pack of taco's at the drive up, steer clear of me. I may be forced to drip lettuce and cheese and taco shell all over you.
I was on the interstate getting ready to merge onto my exit when I noticed a little red car speeding up to pass me on the right. The car cut me off from being able to exit in the prescribed lines and as it passed me I happened to be taking a bite of the taco. Apparently my eating was an offence to the driver who promptly flipped me off. Flipped me off!!
That should have been the end of it, but of course you know it was not. The driver then positioned himself directly in front of me and slammed on the brakes, and again gave me the one finger salute.
I responded by taking another bite of the taco. This must have infuriated the other driver who then reached out his sunroof and again gestured his displeasure. I decided to change lanes and the aspiring hand model then followed suit and again with the bird, out the drivers window.
At this point, I was out of taco so I decided to take my cell phone in hand and prepare to call the guy in for road rage like behavior.
He then pulled over in front of me and stopped. I stopped my car on the side of the road and the guy jumps out of his car, yelling profanities and this is when I noticed he was about 6 foot tall, 200 pounds tattooed from head to toe with a construction mohawk. I could just feel a cultural exchange coming on.
I rolled down the window as he approached yelling. It was not what I expected, as he declared he was on the phone with the cops. I politely and calmly stated that I was in complete agreement, and that he should call in the officers and let them referee.
O.K. Maybe not politely. "Go ahead Jackhole, get them over here, you cut me off, slammed on your brakes and are flipping gang signs at me!"
At this point he told 911 that it was cool, and he hung up. Then he yelled at me about raising my hand as He passed and cut me off on the right. I held up the Taco Bell bag, and Said, "I WAS EATING A TACO!!! "
At this point his demeanor changed, and he said, "Oh, sorry man." and held out his hand in to shake and relieve the tensions. We shook and he got in his car and raced off.
As I thought about it, I realized a few things. One, I am not as young as I once was, and it may be harder to defend myself than it used to be. So I need to make sure I am armed with more than a hardshell taco when mixing it up with the local talent. Maybe a hot coffee from Mcdonalds or a mashed potato and gravy bowl from KFC.
I also realized that maybe I should change up my snacks. I bet if I had been eating a carrot stick, the guy would never have gotten pissed off at me. On the other hand if I had been eating a celery stick he may have thought I was flipping him off.
From now on I will be more cautious, but if you know I am in a bad mood and you see me getting a 12 pack of taco's at the drive up, steer clear of me. I may be forced to drip lettuce and cheese and taco shell all over you.
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