As my 3 year old matures, he gets smarter and more infuriating. Unlike his father, who as he ages just de-evolves on an hourly basis. I would like to think that there is a corollary here, even a transfer as I get dumber, he is taking the I.Q. points that I am hemorrhaging, and he gets the benefit of it all. But give me three more hours and I won't even understand that last sentence.
I finally broke down and taught my son the trick that every man should pass on to his male offspring. The "Pull My Finger" trick. I called Josh over and said, "Grab my finger!" He was hesitant for some reason, perhaps his sense of self preservation was screaming for him to run while he still could. He squeezed my finger and I delivered the goods. It was an amazing sight, the shock followed instantly by sheer delight in his face. He could not wait to try this on his own, and let me tell you, he is a fast learner. I could not be more proud.
Last week we got one of our first good snow falls. It was coming down hard and fast and I made sure to check the trees throughout the night. I had to go out 1 1:30 a.m. and again at 4:30 a.m. to shake the heavy wet snow off of our new cherry trees before the branches broke off from the extra weight. Of course I did not dress for the occasion, I just put on a pair of shoes and ran out and did what needed to be done. Now, as a rule I like to be fully clothed when I go outside, but this was an emergency and I sort of figured that is any of my neighbors were staring out at my back yard at in the wee hours of the morning, then they just deserved the enchanting horror of seeing a fat guy in his loosely tied robe shaking the daylights out of a tree.
Early the next morning I looked out the front and saw that the snow was piling up all over and I got the numb idea to do a snow angel in my short pants and light short sleeved shirt. I asked Dessy to get the camera, and
raced out to the back yard in bare feet. I immediately slipped on the ice and landed on my left knee. I cried and whined like a puppy caught in a trap. It was just disgusting. I got back in the house, put on shoes and returned to complete the mission. Dessy took the picture and I returned to the house.
A couple of hours later I noticed that the pain was still pretty bad and I finally checked out my knee,only to discover that I had abraded the skin off the kneecap. I was sitting down when Josh approached me and looked very concerned at the swelling and bruising. He decided it was time to lecture me on bad behavior. "Daddy, what happened? Did you fall down on the ice?" I nodded, and he continued on with the lesson. "Daddy, why don't you wear shoes outside in the snow? If you wear shoes you won't fall down!" Every day since, Josh has pulled me aside to ask that again. I think that he is convinced that I still do not have a clue and that he will drive this point home by sheer repetition.
Last night I was changing the baby and the older child was observing. With a gasp he asked "Daddy! Why does he have a hole in his butt?" I calmly stated that everyone has that, but he was still full of questions. "Do I have that?" I affirmed that he did and it was normal. " Does Mommy have a hole in her butt too?"
I mumbled, "No son, she has your daddy."
I finally broke down and taught my son the trick that every man should pass on to his male offspring. The "Pull My Finger" trick. I called Josh over and said, "Grab my finger!" He was hesitant for some reason, perhaps his sense of self preservation was screaming for him to run while he still could. He squeezed my finger and I delivered the goods. It was an amazing sight, the shock followed instantly by sheer delight in his face. He could not wait to try this on his own, and let me tell you, he is a fast learner. I could not be more proud.
Last week we got one of our first good snow falls. It was coming down hard and fast and I made sure to check the trees throughout the night. I had to go out 1 1:30 a.m. and again at 4:30 a.m. to shake the heavy wet snow off of our new cherry trees before the branches broke off from the extra weight. Of course I did not dress for the occasion, I just put on a pair of shoes and ran out and did what needed to be done. Now, as a rule I like to be fully clothed when I go outside, but this was an emergency and I sort of figured that is any of my neighbors were staring out at my back yard at in the wee hours of the morning, then they just deserved the enchanting horror of seeing a fat guy in his loosely tied robe shaking the daylights out of a tree.
Early the next morning I looked out the front and saw that the snow was piling up all over and I got the numb idea to do a snow angel in my short pants and light short sleeved shirt. I asked Dessy to get the camera, and
raced out to the back yard in bare feet. I immediately slipped on the ice and landed on my left knee. I cried and whined like a puppy caught in a trap. It was just disgusting. I got back in the house, put on shoes and returned to complete the mission. Dessy took the picture and I returned to the house.
A couple of hours later I noticed that the pain was still pretty bad and I finally checked out my knee,only to discover that I had abraded the skin off the kneecap. I was sitting down when Josh approached me and looked very concerned at the swelling and bruising. He decided it was time to lecture me on bad behavior. "Daddy, what happened? Did you fall down on the ice?" I nodded, and he continued on with the lesson. "Daddy, why don't you wear shoes outside in the snow? If you wear shoes you won't fall down!" Every day since, Josh has pulled me aside to ask that again. I think that he is convinced that I still do not have a clue and that he will drive this point home by sheer repetition.
Last night I was changing the baby and the older child was observing. With a gasp he asked "Daddy! Why does he have a hole in his butt?" I calmly stated that everyone has that, but he was still full of questions. "Do I have that?" I affirmed that he did and it was normal. " Does Mommy have a hole in her butt too?"
I mumbled, "No son, she has your daddy."
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