Toddler Crisis Number 4,532

A couple of months ago I had hernia surgery. It was my 3rd operation in less than a year, all of them hernia related. Naturally all my limping and whining coupled with the unsightliness of it made a big impression on my 3 year old.

He would frequently come into my bedroom to check on me as I recovered, often asking to see the scars or ask me if it hurt bad. He was genuinely concerned. I suppose when you are only 3 years old that having a parent dealing with an issue for a year just seems like an eternity. It sort of follows that other areas of his thinking will be colored by the event.

A few weeks ago while I was recovering Josh came in my room and started to explore the top drawer of my night stand. It had some gauze dressings, medical tape and some personal items. Josh picked up one of the items, a condom, and said " Daddy, I want the candy!" I was horrified of course and quickly told him that it was not candy, and put it back in the drawer.

Being the persistent child that he is, he started in with the questions. "Daddy, can I have that?"
Any of you with children can attest that at this age the incessant barrage of questions can be maddening. So to avert the normal back and forth, I just barked out, "Put it away, it is medicine!"

I thought this was the end of it.

Until last night.

Josh came out of my room holding a condom and announced, "Look Mommy, I have medicine for Daddy's pee pee!" I do not know how he arrived at this conclusion, but let me tell you, Mommy gave Daddy the look. I did not teach him that, but I knew it was no use trying to defend myself. Sometimes the path of least resistance is to just take the blame.

That, and hide the unmentionables from the kids better.