The Sins Of The Father.

No one I know thinks that I am a role model. I do not get invited to a lot of events because of my propensity to blurt out something horrible. So it is no wonder that my kids are at a disadvantage when it comes to appropriate speech. Even at church, people approach me warily and tell me how wonderful my kids are then I catch the look from them that implies that it is just a matter of time til I ruin any hope of them becoming pillars of the community.

My wife has some growing concerns and decided to approach me over the words that Johnnie the 23 month old has been articulating. Dessy was mortified that he has begun to voice terrible words and of course blames me. Fortunately I had good news for her, "Die die" is Johnnies way of saying "Tante Ari" and I explained that he was was not actually saying "Dumba$$ but rather talking about "Thomas," like in Thomas The Train which is one of his favorite shows.

Yesterday at church, I was approached 3 separate times by women who have been involved with the teaching of my son Josh. All 3 had glowing reports on what a wonderful child I have, how intelligent he is and how he remembers everything that is taught in class. I could not be more proud, right?

Well, that same evening I am sitting on the porch watching the boys play with the next door neighbor kids. As always the boys start roll playing and soon have their assigned roles as motorcycle daredevil and pit stop mechanic, or some other imaginative game. I was absorbed in my own thoughts when suddenly I heard the kids arguing over the roles. "I am the cop, You are the bad guy" or " I want to be the cop!" This went on for a few seconds then the kids kicked it up both in volume and intensity. The neighbor kid yells, "Imma COP." Josh yells back, "I'm the good guy, you're a bastard!" At first, I did not believe my ears, but I called Josh over and asked what he said and he confirmed it.

 I was trying to be stern when I told him we do not use those words, but I was not able to hold a straight face at all. As it turns out, he learned it from the neighbor kid, so I was off the hook for being the bad influence, at least this time anyway.